You, my dear friends, have ever been there with me when I suffered from the pain of good-bye-ing my romance. I, here and now, just want to thank you with my whole heart and tearful enlightenment.
Going through an intimate relationship is like going through all the wounds I carelessly gained from the past. Thank God that he let me bloodily see through again, and thank you, dear Artur and Blue, that you both have been so honest!
And especially thanks to my parents that they are still alive, so I could still phone them up to tell them how much I have loved them. Although I know, at least consciously, most of my wounds are from their terrible unhappy marriage, I still feel so grateful that they did not forget to love me even when they, themselves, were experiencing a huge life tragedy. When the hatred turns to understanding, understanding turns to wisdom; you just can’t close your eyes for the freaky brightness of the powerful love.
Couple days ago, I finally realized what Chuang-Tzu was trying to say about ‘his’ butterfly dream (there is actually not a ‘he’ here). The story is like this:
One day, Chuang-Tzu woke up and claimed he dreamt of a butterfly, and said, ‘I am actually not sure whether it was me who dreamt of the butterfly, or it was the butterfly who dreamt of me!’ It is pretty tricky, ya? Before, I could only imagine such a wise master who could freely fly in the sky with his will and play with the butterfly. Now, I realize that there is actually never a ‘mind’ involved, and the mind complicatedly produces the ideas of you, I, he, desires for fames, security or power, etc.
However, in the rules of nature, the mind doesn’t exist… there is only Tao. In the Tao, the dream event let Chuang-Tzu and the butterfly meet. Just like any of the cases that you met me, or I met you! The Bible has also predicted this paradigm of mind: ever since Adam and Eve ate the fruit of wisdom, they have therefore abandoned from the paradise.
‘Enjoy spring -- it is amazing the scents, flowers, and all this promise of rebirth!’
Dear Piotr, your words completely got me! After those days and nights of searching inside, at this moment, I would like to say:
I am not afraid of the darkness— it is definitely worthy to crawl through! Let’s dance and sing for the darkness in the way what Dionysus has done (from Nietzsche); just as in the way everybody admires the brightness and warmth.
Let’s celebrate the life without any hesitate, every moment of it!
